So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
