Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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