if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I could fuck to npr.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
