Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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