Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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