Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
