I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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