genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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