OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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