ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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