Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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