Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
