Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
