Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Randomize
