I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
