I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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