On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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