I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
