At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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