Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
