They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
