can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
