We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize
