Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
