she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
