people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
