Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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