i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
