had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It's rum buckets o'clock
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize