I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
