I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
