My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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