I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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