Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
