He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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