You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
