When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
