i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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