Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
