Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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