dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
