No, drunk sperm still make babies.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
