Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
