Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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