I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
