next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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