i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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