god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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