singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
