And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
