WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
